My Unexpected Path.

Okay now that I have told you all how I love Easter and that I know that God will always be there for me, I think I am ready to tell you all about what is happening in my life.  As many of you know, my husband lost his job in September.  Now the events surrounding this will have to wait for another post.  His losing his job put a finical burden on us.  We struggled for many months trying to pay all of our bills and keep our house.  With my paycheck, I was able to pay everything except the mortgage.  It came down to food or paying the mortgage.  We need to pay all of the other bills to keep us functioning.  Devin used to be able to take Zelda to work with him, now we had to decide what we were going to do for childcare. 

                Devin got his SORA training.  That is the security Officer Registration Act, so he tried to get a job as a night security guard.  Through many job he finally found one at the Hamilton Mall.  Now he doesn’t get many hours there now but we hope those hours will increase with time.  I work during the day and Devin works at night.  It’s hard because we don’t see each other a lot, but we are making it work. 

                Through this time, many people helped us that I will be forever grateful for.  Devin’s sisters helped us get groceries when we didn’t have a car.  My brother gave me his old car!  He is am amazing brother.  My parents helped us so much.  I hope that one day I can do the same for my kids.

                We have called our bank and talked with them many times during this process.  We have sent finical information to them a few times and finally they tell me that they can’t help us.  I asked them for help and they said no.  First, they said that Devin needed to get a job and then they could help.  Devin got a job and they still can’t help.

                After a lot of deliberation, and tears we have decided that the best thing we can do is to sell our house.  I am not sure what the outcome will be.  I hope to find a good real-estate agent who can guide us in this process.  I hope that I will not have to pay anything in the end, but I know that my credit has been damaged and it will take a long time to rebuild it. 

                We are trying to find a place to rent and one that we can get with our credit.  One that will allow us to keep Penny and one that is in a good neighborhood.  Say a prayer for us.  I know that God is watching out for us and that everything will be okay.  It seems that in times such as this I am closer to God than in times when everything seems ok and peaceful.  I feel guilty that I have not been able to get to church, but it is quite difficult to take the two kids by myself.  Devin works nights so he is tired in the morning. 

Even though it may not appear that, this was a difficult post it was.  We have been dealing with this for months and many of you had no idea.  I was embarrassed to say anything.  I know that many Americans are in the same situation that I am in right now but that did not change how I felt.  I felt like I was letting my family down.  I felt like I had this great house and I really wanted my kids to grow up in it.  I had all of these plans for how to renovate that house and make it larger.  In the end, God takes our well laid out plans and gives us another path.  Though we sometimes go, kicking and screaming like children often do when their dads want them to do something other than what they are doing, we do go.  God knows best and He knows the right path for us.  We just have to take it.  Who knows what the future holds?  God is the only one who does and I am excited to see what he has planned for my family and me. 

Easter

Easter is here!  Easter is my favorite holiday.  I love it for many different reasons.  I love that it is not as commercialized as Christmas.  I love the Easter Bunny, jellybeans, and going to church with my family.  I love that the Devil was defeated and Jesus rose from the grave.  I love that he gave his life for my family and me. 

When I was little Easter was going to church with my dad.  Easter was the only time my dad went to church.  I loved sitting in church with my whole family.  I felt so proud.  Now I know that many of you are thinking.  Why didn’t my dad go to church with us all of the time?  I am not going to defend him but he had to get up at 4:30 in the morning everyday for work.  So I am sure that he did not want to get up early on Sunday.

We had a small apartment, so there were only a few places where you can hide eggs.  I was always amazed that my dad knew exactly where the Easter Bunny hide all of the eggs.  Usually that Saturday night I would look outside to try to see if I could see the Easter Bunny.  My mom would tell me the same thing that she told me when I was up waiting for Santa.  That he would not come until I was sleeping.  One time she told me that he saw him because he saw his ears coming over the apartments across the street.  So I thought that the Easter Bunny was like 40 feet tall.  I pictured this giant bunny hoping threw the streets.  How could he fit in the door? 

I remember everything that I am grateful for and everything that God has given me.  I have a wonderful husband, and two beautiful kids.  Anything else that comes my way I can handle because I know that God is with me and that Jesus loved me so much that he died for me.  He died for my husband and my kids, and everyone else in the world.  How amazing is that!

Let's see how random I can see!

Ok so I haven’t posted anything in a long time.  I have a good reason for that though.  I went back to work after having Van. There are so many things that I want to do and not enough time for all of them.  Let’s see how random I can be.  Try to stay with me now.

 I started editing my book again.  I have not idea when or if I will finish this. 

I applied to graduate school.  Am I crazy?  Well probably but I still hope to get in.  Not sure how many classes I can handle. Maybe start with one and then see how that goes. I have my elementary school certification, and now I want to go back and get my special ed cert.  I am a personal aide at Atlantic county special services.  It is so hard to find an elementary ed job, so if I have elementary and special ed certs I shouldn’t have any problem finding a job.  Maybe my school will hire me.

 I am playing so much World of Warcraft.  Actually haven’t played all week but a girl needs to sleep.  I try to play after the kids go to bed, but as I said before there are so, many things that I want to do.

I love my job and it’s a great thing because I don’t know if I would want to leave my kids all day if I didn’t love it.  Well I need the money, so there’s always that.  But it would make it more difficult if I hated my job.  I can’t imagine what it would be like if I still worked for Payless.  Nothing against shoes but really it would have been tough. 

So I get home and all I want to do is play with my kids.  I could hold Van for hours.  He just looks up and smiles.  Love it. He is starting to do that cooing stuff.  It’s so cute. It’s as if he is trying to talk to you.

Now Zelda is just crazy.  She runs around the house and somehow always ends up in the kitchen.  She takes things off of my pantry shelf and puts them all over the place.  There was spaghetti sauce in the bathroom and tomato paste on the windowsill in the living room.  Why does this girl like tomatoes so much?  One day she took all of the baby soap out of the bathroom and put them all on a shelf in Devin’s office. Devin said, “Wow she is so your daughter.”  Not that I have OCD or anything.  I just like stuff to be clean.  Well maybe a little OCD but not to where it makes my life crazy.  I just make people around me crazy.  

I want to write another book.  I had a very strange dream last week.  It was so strange that I got out of bed, took my tape recorder out, and recorded what I dreamt about.  I am still trying to remember some things and put some of the pieces of the story together.  I think it would make a good book or a sci-fi channel movie.  Either way, it was weird.  I think I will save that for another post, or this would go on forever.

 

So here, I am late at night when I should be in bed, doing all sorts of things.  I even went into the attic and found old arts and crafts stuff.  I was trying to find stuff to do with the kids in school and now I have all of the projects that I can do with Zelda.    

Well I had better go to bed.  I have to work tomorrow.  Wish I could sleep, but my mind is on overdrive.   Good thing I have lots of stuff that I want to do.  J